Divorce is a major life event, as it involves significant changes and emotional trauma. It is sometimes compared to other serious events, such as a death.
When you are certain that divorce is the right choice, you might wonder what to do next. You may not know where to begin or how long the process will take. Perhaps you wonder how to tell your spouse or how it will affect your children. Here is some helpful advice.
Organize your financial documents
Obtain a clear picture of your financial situation and back it up with documents. Gather documents such as mortgage documents, bank statements, retirement statements and tax returns. This saves you time and allows you to begin to think about your post-divorce financial life.
If possible, save enough money to last you a few months on your own, especially if you do not know how your spouse will react. The savings can allow you to move out on your own or keep the bills paid in your current household if your spouse moves out or cuts you off from financial resources.
Find a support system
Be careful what you put in writing and treat your spouse with respect. Do not send messages to your spouse when angry or upset. Anything you say in writing could be used as evidence in a divorce. Seek out supportive family and friends or consider talking with a counselor.
It is often best to take these steps before telling your spouse you want a divorce. If you have taken these steps to prepare, the only next step after telling your spouse should be filing the divorce itself.
This reduces the chance of harm from your spouse hiding information, moving assets or doing anything else to undermine your chance of a smooth and fair divorce.
What happens after I file?
North Carolina, like many states, has a one-year waiting period between the filing and finalizing of a divorce. However, these pre-divorce steps still increase your chance of a smoother divorce.
You will likely need the year to work out any child custody arrangements, move to separate households and negotiate marital property division. The year also provides you with time to work through your emotions so you can make the best decisions to move forward.