Many people know about the technique called “gray rocking” when dealing with narcissists and other angry exes. That’s when the person’s responses are so muted and neutral that the argumentative ex-spouse eventually gets bored trying to get a rise out of their former partner.
But fewer know about a more successful communication style for co-parents called “yellow rocking” that we will detail below.
Why yellow rocking is preferable
While gray rocking remains an effective technique in many circumstances, there’s an inherent coldness in the responses that may not impress the court — and can seem uncooperative and nonresponsive (because it is). Family law courts encourage co-parents to learn to communicate more effectively to meet the needs of their children.
How does one yellow rock with a co-parent?
It’s actually very simple. Yellow rocking is like communicating with an unpleasant co-worker who may try and twist your words. Communicate only via text, email or with a parenting app that preserves the communication between the co-parents.
When using yellow rock communication, your tone should be civil and businesslike but always polite. Refuse to take the bait of any accusations. Your reply can be something generic like, “I received your response to my query. Does that mean that you will be available to pick up Junior from soccer practice or shall I make other arrangements?” Keep your responses focused on the child and shared parenting duties.
Courts may review your communications
In a custody dispute, either side can petition the court to issue subpoenas for texts, emails and social media posts. You never want to hand the other side ammunition that can be used against you in a contested custody case.