Even if your divorce is your idea or is amicable, it is likely one of the most emotional times of your life. Grief and guilt may mix with feelings of relief.

Being proactive about your emotions is one way to survive divorce intact. Here are some tips to help.

Retain as much control over the proceedings as possible

Uncertainty is one reason that divorce can be so stressful. That is, if you believe that the case is likely to end up in court, it is stressful to recognize that the judge could rule in one of many ways. On the other hand, if you work with your spouse and your attorneys to negotiate issues such as property division, child support, child custody and spousal support, you gain more control over the proceedings. You have a say in each issue.

Make time for yourself

If you have kids, it can be easy to fall into the trap of catering to them 100 percent at the expense of yourself. However, it is critical that you make time for yourself and strike a balance among the many areas of your life. Socialize, exercise, paint, hike, do whatever you enjoy. Seek out counseling and/or new groups if you lack many friends; now is not the time to isolate yourself. Nor should you pretend as if everything is fine for the sake of your children. Kids tend to pick up on insincerity, and they appreciate honesty in measured doses.

Plan for the future

Part of emotionally surviving divorce is knowing that you can handle whatever comes after the divorce is final. So, it may be necessary to start preparing even before filing the papers. Perhaps you need to start stocking away money for yourself in an account under your name only. Maybe you should sign up for financial management classes sooner rather than later. Get ahead of potential obstacles so you control them instead of them running over you.

There are many considerations when it comes to divorce. An attorney helps ensure you cover all of the bases.